Waffling

"[Love] always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. ... And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

–1 Corinthians 13:7, 13

An interesting thought crossed my mind today....and I suppose it has been a while in the making.

Always—that tension between loving someone and holding back for fear of rejection.

Even as friends (mostly talking about guys here): caring for someone or holding back for fear of seeming too interested. The line shifts in every situation, in every scenario.

It is better to say too much than to say nothing at all. A cliche quote on love, but is it true/applicable for friendships? That is, is it better to care too much than to [not show as much care]?

I think my mind now rests with the former. After all, I don't think I am a super creepy person, so there is a smaller chance of someone thinking that, and anyway, I have personally always loved it when other people were very interested in my life.

I have waffled on being very friendly, or caring, towards certain people for the past year/several months, for fear of rejection of that care/seeming creepy. But that's just it.....fear. That's not love. (And waffling sends mixed signals which are never helpful.)

Love always trusts—I don't know why I have feared so much, and held back so much (in the small things, which are what matter most anyway), when true love always trusts. Trust the other person not to reject you (especially if they're Christian too); trust them to reciprocate; trust that even if they don't, God is using this situation to mold me and shape me into a more godly person.

I think I have hinted before that it is the most difficult for me to not be bitter against but rather to love someone who does not love me back (friend or crush), but that does not then excuse me from still showing a God-like love to them when we happen to interact.

Anyway, I think the end thought here is that I will now stop waffling on how much care I actively show, and instead simply trust that the receiving party will not think I am creepy.

(Okay, I mean the real conclusion is that I will try to grow in God's love towards others regardless of the returns, but practically speaking, the sentence above is partially how that will play out.)