Venting - sexism

Sorry, I just need to vent a little:

I don't know if I'm lucky or naive, but I am pretty sure I have NEVER felt this level of sexist discrimination in my life. I mean, it's not over the top, but neither is it unobvious to me...and I don't think the men realize they're doing this, but that doesn't mean it's not sexist!! (And before I go any further, I limit this to just a couple men that either I am working closely with, or a female classmate is working closely with.)

For example, if you disagree with me, why don't you look me in my eyes and tell me why you disagree, instead of voicing your objections to everyone around us....except me??

Or when I offer up an answer, why be unsure of my answer and ask around for other opinions, only to be sure of it after SOMEONE ELSE (a guy) confirms what I just said??

Or how about when I do more work, or do better work, or even offer a suggestion(s) that then proves itself to be the right suggestion(s)—and you STILL....STILL constantly doubt my abilities or my intelligence by doing the above two things??

Like, WHAT?!? I've never felt this kind of disrespect before...not in high school, college, or law school. Everyone, including myself, pretty much knew where I was at academically, and we all pretty much knew where everyone else was at. That is, most of us were more or less at the same intelligence level, with the exception of that handful of people who were just levels above of genius. So male or female, we each treated one another with the same healthy dose of respect for our intelligence levels (and more respect to those people who were just super smart).

There was none of this BS where you just automatically disregarded someone's intelligence based on their sex. (...Or so little that it didn't matter enough, or it got quickly shut down.)

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Even the instructors here (who are mostly men in their 30s to 50s and have decades of experience in the working world/as attorneys) have said that, after all is said and done, it is just harder to gain respect as a woman in the working world, and especially as an attorney (and also that the prettier you are, the harder it is). You have to be smarter and work harder, but still strike that balance between confidence/cockiness and femininity. It. is. SO. DUMB. Dumb isn't even the right word for it. It's outrageous. It's double standards that many men not only permit but expect. It's hateful. It's sin. It's injustice. And one of the worst things is that I feel like we can't say anything about it, because then it will be construed as whiny, or construed to mean that us minority women [attorneys] need greater protections/need to be treated like China dolls. Which isn't true. And that approach focuses on the "victim"—I really dislike using that word here for some reason—and not on the actions or mindsets of the perpetrators.

I'd maybe go into this more, but I've already spent the majority of my working time tonight getting frustrated about this issue (while working with said men) and not getting enough work done, and then writing this ranty blog post, and still not getting work done. So I'm gonna go and try to concentrate now that I've been able to let some of this out.